ISSN 1758-6488
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Three Poems Poetry |
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A Man Besotted by his Batch
In the SPAR supermarket on Merrion Row
Opposite O’Donoghue’s public house,
When I presented my basket at the checkout
To my dismay it was taken
Not by one of the many Polish girls manning the checkouts
But by a short, stocky, curly, red-headed male Dubliner
Screeching to himself ‘The Auld Triangle’
By Brendan Behan:
And the auld triangle
Goes jingle jangle
All along the banks
Of the Royal Canal.
He was all bonhomie but not excessively.
He commented on my every item
But when I handed him
My Batch Loaf of Bread
He seized-up, swooned, swayed, roared:
“Jasus!” he roared “a Batch!”
He continued as if performing an aria in the Messiah
“When I was in Australia – and don’t get me wrong –
I loved it in Australia – every Dublin man
Should spend time in Australia -
But the one thing I missed was my Batch.
After seven years in Perth – Jasus!
You should see the women in Perth! -
When I came home to Dublin
The first thing I did was to go out
And buy myself a Batch
And I came back with my batch
And I smeared two slices with dollops of butter
And I made one gorgeous ham sandwich.
The women of Perth, O Jasus, forgive me,
But there’s nothing – not even a Perth woman –
To beat a Batch. Thank you, sir. Have a good day.”
