Henry’s brother again
I do this for my brother because for a long time I didn’t do shit for him. I watched him sinking under the weight of God knows what and I never tried to lighten his load. He was a moper, a sad sack, a bookworm, and that’s just how it was. He thought he was good for nothing and who was I to argue? That’s what kind of a brother I was. So one day he drank about a gallon of sterno, and when they called me from the hospital I thought he was dead. I still haven’t figured that one out. Not why he did it — I know all about that now — but why he picked sterno. It was close at hand, he said to me. Close at hand — do you see what I mean? It’s been a year and I still wonder if he tastes it in the back of his throat. So anyway, typical me: when I got to the hospital and saw him lying there, I really laid into him. About what a stupid shit he was and what was he trying to pull with a stunt like this and thank God Mom and Dad didn’t live to see this, and I’ll tell you, he went to fucking pieces. Tears like you’ve never seen, and the nurse coming in to tell us to pipe down and does she need to call security and Henry’s crying and then I’m crying because it hits me smack in the face that this is my brother. This is Henry. And I love the son of a bitch like he’s the last good thing on the planet. Really. I mean, what else did I have? Joanne had left me and Mom and Dad had passed and it was just us, and I came this close to losing him to a mouthful of sterno. Without Henry I’m alone in this world and I’ll admit it, I’m not big enough to face that. I moved him in with me when he got out of the hospital and after a week of quiet nights he told me about the whole thing with men and how he felt and how what he really liked was — what did he call it? — the exquisite anonymity. Jesus, do you see what I’m up against here? He’s a flake, and a perve, and he’ll never use two words when he can get away with ten, but he’s my brother. When he first laid all this out to me, and let me tell you there were plenty more tears, I was ready to send him on his ass right back to the street. Return to sender, right? But I saw myself back in that hospital room crying my goddamn eyes out and I didn’t want to lose him twice.

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